It doesn't matter that you're Scared. So is everyone else. Keep going. Keep moving. Keep solving Audacious problems with more Audacity.
Push through the fear. Take on the tough shit voluntarily.
Then, you earn Confidence. Then, you start to see what you are truly capable of.
Even if you don’t know where to start — just pick something. Just start writing. Start playing. Start riffing.
Nothing worth doing is easy. Writing isn’t easy. Performing isn’t easy. Creating lasting work isn’t easy. Working-out isn’t easy. Even just getting around the Strip isn’t fucking easy. If you’re anything like me, you’ll be constantly stopped and asked for things. A picture with look-a-likes on the Strip goes for $100. You’re welcome. I charge 10x that.
Still, we do it anyway. We get after the work-outs. We hammer on the creative projects. We put our heart + soul into our performances. We go to bat for our customers.
People come up to me all the time and say, “Hey, you’re that one guy from Jack Ass!!” Or, “Hey, you’re Johnny Bravo!”
For the uninitiated, this is Johnny Bravo:
I’ve been called far, far worse things…I’ll take Johnny Bravo every day of the week. Thank you.
What you come to realize as a performer & entertainer & even as an Author is that your job is to give your audience what they want. You be who they want you to be on stage and on these pages. Your audience expects the dick jokes, you give them the damn dick jokes. Your audience expects you to imitate your parents, you imitate your fucking parents. Your audience expects you to do the Hot Pockets bit, you give them the Hot Pockets bit. That’s why they pay you. You want the hits? I write them & perform them for you every single day. We’re all up here singing & dancing for our dinner nightly.
The difficulty lies in losing your own damn self while you try to be these various characters for your people. It’s a very strange balance. It’s no wonder why we drink. We drink to soothe & we drink to explore.
Welcome to Taylor Swift’s Tortured Poets Department. We’re an Exclusive, Creative Lot, often intentionally out of our minds. Yet, here we go for the evil graces of Satan. She-Devil is behind us all. And she moves in mysterious ways…
Just look at her:
I did not ask for this She-Devil to haunt me. Yet, she haunts me nightly…
She is clearly as tortured as me. Obviously she loves the new Knocked Loose like I do. Does she front a Metal band? What’s going on here? What’s next?
Women are SO damn powerful…Holy Shit. We’re gonna fall for it—I promise you.
A large part of the Entertainment World that goes unnoticed is that we’re just as scared as the civilians are. Yet, we have to get up & go perform. It isn’t a choice. It is a must. To not get up & go perform is to die. You might as well be dead & buried in the dumbass Chicago suburbs. You’ve got to showcase Chutzpah. Bring the fucking Audacity! Be Audacious. You know, like me.
People want larger than life characters on the stage. People want larger than life characters on the page. I’m here for you. I’m here for you…I’ve got you.
The other fun part of the mystery: is this an Act or is he always like this? I ask the same question to what appear to be supremely happy people, people that are wildly happy all the time. You know these people? How do they do that? There’s no fucking way you are genuinely that happy all the damn time. No. Nobody is! No fucking way!
For the supremely self-aware — myself included — We are always performing for people. We perform for the waitress. We perform for the bartender. We try out material on the cashier. Our wives & kids roll their eyes at us while we try out new routines & bits. These are solid early tests of new material. To try these bits out on the waitress brightens her day. If you get a laugh out of her, you just received positive feedback on your shit. Feedback is vital.
The main difference between amateur writers and paid Authors is that paid Authors write for an audience. Amateur writers write for themselves. There’s nothing wrong with writing for yourself; just don’t expect the big pay day while you write for you.
You’ve got to figure out what people want & then give it to them consistently. That’s the key to getting paid. That’s why we’re always testing & trying new material. We have no idea what will stick. We don’t know until we go.
That’s also why if you want to write, you should write every day.
Write the dick jokes every day.
Write the Substack post every day if even kept in drafts until it’s publishing time. I’ve got plenty of shit in the can there that I can draw from.
Hammer on the fucking script every day.
Sing the goddamn songs every day. Sing in the goddamn car. Sing loudly! Sing like you mean it! Goddammit!
This is your Creative Life we’re talking about here. If you’re disciplined & dedicated, you’ll do it every day. You won’t wear out. I promise. I believe in you. You’ve got this just like I do.
Welcome to your daily mental work-out. It’s supposed to be hard. This is what hard feels like. A ghetto gym session still counts as a gym session.
Not to worry: Johnny’s here for ‘ya. I’m always here for ‘ya.
This is why lots of people call me Daddy. I take care of shit.
Godspeed on She-Devil’s Thunder.